Barley, Hops and the Hill

Maybe the fact that I dreamed about bar hopping gives you a clue as to how AWESOME kick-off went for the Hoppers last night.  I first have to thank everyone who came out and made it a success.  The Hill Hoppers were: Duff, Carl-Erich, Paige, Cleo, Jaimie, Jared, Shannon, Kirsten, Megan, Karen, Bobby, Justin, Dan, Tyler, Matt, Johnny and I probably forgot a few.  In my head I figured we’d go to Grey, Purr and Barca and call it a night.  Turns out, with our powers combined, we are unstoppable drinking forces.  The final tally for the night?  5.  We started at Grey, moved on the Purr, skipped down to Maharaja, meandered over to Bimbo’s and then stumbled into Moe Bar.  

Grey Gallery and Lounge:  Walking into Grey on the hot day that was Friday, I thought for a moment that this was a mistake.  The heat inside was just about as unbearable as it was outside in the sun, and there didn’t seem to be much of a way to escape it.  I ran to the bar hoping a cool beer would make it better and was presented with the choice of three Maritimes to choose from and I went with the Nightwatch Dark Amber.  The fact that I had only 3 beers to pick from made me immediately judge them negatively.  

Then Duff came in and the whole story changed.  ”The bartender here is amazing!  You have to order a cocktail from him.”  Duff ordered a Dark and Stormy (dark rum and ginger beer).  I finished my beer and asked Randall, our fantastic mixologist, what he suggested with tequila and the man made me an El Diablo which changed my entire view of Grey.  Paige stepped up and ordered a drink Randall has made up, the Cherry Lemon Drop.  It was a slice of magic in a martini glass that will be appearing soon as a regular item on their menu.  Check it out.

 

Grey is really an art gallery with a bar tucked in the back. The walls are white and, for now, featuring Urban Beach Scene photos by Amy-Ellen Flatchesedmama Trefsger (if you can pronounce that, I’ll buy you a beer).  You can have a glass of Randall’s liquid art and then appreciate the photos around you.  A small loft area above created a cozy hideaway and also a cover for the bar downstairs.  The leather bar stools faced us towards an impressive assortment of liquor that ranged from the obvious Stoli selection to the obscure Chilean pisco or Venezuelan rum.  More people started to arrive and tried their luck with different cocktails asking Randall his opinions and testing his expertise.  By the time we were ready to move on people had some solid stuff to say about Grey and its main man, Randall.

“…casual with a hint of pretension (but not too much!).  Randall rocks and makes everyone feel like they’re in their favorite neighborhood cocktail lounge.  Everyone doesn’t know your name but they could.” -Cleo

“Art and good cocktails.  Great service and a tree stump for a table. (Randall!)” -Jamie.

Judgings:

Ambiance: 4 stars

Bartender: 5 stars

Bathroom: 4 stars

 

Next stop…Purr.  At 8 o’clock on a Friday night Purr was empty.  The cavernous room that is the main level was dark and probably only lit by the skylights and the last bit of sun coming in through the open front windows.  A large bar takes up the right side of the room while the center area is left pretty much open for when the place fills up later in the night.  We slipped right into a booth along the wall and within moments a tank-top clad server, Rusty, was over taking drink orders.  Paige wanted something with blueberries and he said he’d see what could be done.  Ten minutes later she was given a large glass of something BRIGHT blue and mysteriously sweet.  Did it have vodka?  I said I like tequila and asked what he suggested.  Lack of originality resulted in a Tequila Sunrise.  The bar itself is quite large but the assortment was such that they can make you the basics and whatever the cocktail of the moment might be.  The drinks here are large and strong as was repeatedly commented on by our party.  They don’t play around and when you pay $10 for your cocktail, it is because that pint sized glass is really 9 parts alcohol and 1 part whatever else should go in it.  Had a rough day at work?  Purr will heal your troubles.  

(Paige’s Blue Mystery)

Megan grimaced when faced with the fact we were going to Purr and when asked to give some feedback she happily went for the gut.  ”Purr is perfect for that middle aged gay man working in middle management but dreaming of Project Runway.  Be sure to hit it before 11: the aroma of Clinique Happy for Men + Prada + balls that the crowd generate will make you forget all about that roofie!”

Judgings:

Ambiance: 3 stars

Bartender:Yes, good-looking but the man was slow to respond. 2 stars

Booths: 5 stars (Comfy and had copper table tops)

Name: 0 stars (“…the name is disingenuous. There should be lots of lezzies here, NOT gay men” -KV)

 

Maharaja: Drinking in Maharaja’s dining room, I felt like I was doing something bad.  It’s a dive of an Indian restaurant with a poorly lit back room bar separated from the rest of the place by a thin curtain.  Mismatched dark couches swallow people whole in their broken cushions and black leather.  It was a bar in back but from the looks I doubted that mix drinks would be especially good there and I went for one of the bottled beers because they don’t have anything on tap.  

Friends got dinner and sat around drinking and eating.  Maharaja has cheap but “fantastic” Indian food on their menu and happy hour goes until 9 PM.  You can’t beat that with a stick.  People kept commenting that it was dark as hell, and we were sitting in the dining room.  The employees milled about as we ate and drank and I didn’t know if they were just being attentive or were making sure that we weren’t up to no good.  I felt a little guilty as I looked at them and the space we sat in.  Was this establishment in such disrepair because that is how the people of Capitol Hill treated it?  Did we do this to some person’s dream?  Or was the Maharaja that we came to know that night exactly what the owners intended it to be, “the best bar/shady Indian restaurant in the city”?  On a visit to the restroom I was fairly certain I would get mugged while in the locked little room.  Toilet paper was strewn on the floor, graffiti was scrawled all the way up to the highest corners of the wallpaper.  I had to rethink and decide if in the end I really did have to pee that badly and remember where I kept my knife in case I was attacked in that sketchy, sketchy ass bathroom.

In the end, if you don’t plan on peeing while out, Maharaja is the place for a beer on the cheap with absolutely no frills involved.  It’s “the proverbial dive bar” which “feels miles away from America on a hot summer evening.”  Cleo in particular loved the cute, old Indian men in the back.

Johnny got down his thoughts which paint a good picture of Maharaja and also Johnny’s thought patterns: “Maharaja has mellow red lighting.  Heavy bass line from the music venue next door (like being there without the ear drum damage).  No music here? Easy conversation.  King Fisher Lager?  Is this Indian? Tastes like Stella.  Green bottle.  Staff is very friendly but not overbearing.”

Judgings:

Ambiance: 2 Stars

Bartender: 1 Star

Bathroom: Terrifying

Old Men in Back: Priceless

 

^^Scary bathroom^^

 

Maharaja was followed by the always exiting Bimbo’s.  It breaks my heart slightly to just call it Bimbo’s and drop the rest of the spectacular name that was (Bimbo’s Bitchin’ Burrito Kitchen).  I tear to that.  Ah, but I digress.  Bimbo’s is not overflowing with space and we crammed ourselves at a couple of tables right in front.  It was brightly lit and allowed our eyes to wander and take in the great Mexican wrestling pictures that adorn the wall.  The crowd was laid back in tees and jeans.  One Hopper commented, “There are a lot of mustaches walkin’ ’round this bar!”  Maybe we weren’t hip enough, but we certainly felt right at home and free to get loud and silly.  The whole crowd was buzzing with good energy and nobody could be down in that atmosphere.

A mysterious plate of free nachos appeared at the table and the Hoppers dug in to discover the deliciousness that are Doritos nachos.  Thanks Bimbo’s!  Pitchers were cheap ($6?) and that wasn’t even the PBR.  The Bloody Mary left much to be desired.  Hopper Shannon sighed, “A lot of yucky vodka.  They just use Tabasco for seasoning so it’s just Tabasco and vodka.  It’s not the worst but it’s far from the best.”  Karen jumped in to rate her margarita,  ”Eh, it’s not very good.  A lot of tequila but not very good.  Obviously from a machine.”  Lesson learned?  Bimbo’s is great for mixed drinks if you are looking for strong and might have lost all your taste-buds in a horrible shaving accident.  

“Bimbo’s has great nachos and cheap Rainier.  It gets way too crazy on the weekends.” – Bobby.  

“Really great nachos.  Also, good energy.  It’s not as crowded on a Friday as you might imagine.” – Jared

 -Cleo

Judgings:

Ambiance: 4 Stars

Drinks: 2 Stars

Nachos: 5 Stars

Staff: 5 Stars

Mustaches: 3.66 Stars

 

And then there was Moe Bar.  Tucked next to Neumo’s and the new fish fry restaurant on 10th if the black front painted bar with the happy hour of which is whispered on the street.  Sadly, we did not get there in time for happy hour and stumbled in much later in the night.  For a Friday the crowd was not too much.  Our group actually found two booths quite easily (without either group realizing that 1/2 the crowd was missing).  But, that’s a whole other story.  There was not battle needed to get to the long bar that took up the left side room.  Other patrons were ever so chatty and we would have been fast friends if I had not had so much to drink.  The bartender came over with a huge grin on his face and asked what we would like.  I told him I was up for anything and asked what his favorite drink to make was.  Well, he got a mischevious look in his eye and proclaimed that he had made up a drink called the Sexy Gator.  Okay, we did a bad job because we did not remember what he said went in it.  There was Jager on top.  Something that sunk to the bottom thanks to gravity.  It was green.  It was magical.  I tasted melon and cherries.  The bartender won me over.

Other Hoppers experimented with new beers or went for the basic cocktails we’ve all grown up on.  We sat back in an enormous booth and took in the room.  It was dark with walls that were probably painted black.  It felt cavernous with a high ceiling and dim lighting that seemed focused around the bar.  It was hot outside and sitting in Moe did not help and we drank there sweating Now, I was a little tipsy, no, drunk by that point in the evening so instead of observing the space I kept asking the Hoppers for thoughts.  This is what they said:

“It’s nondescript.  Only come here is you are going to a show.” -Jerod

“Moe is doing it’s thing.  It’s all right for me, dawg.  Actually, it really feels like a karaoke version of a bar singing another bar.” – Jamie. (What?)

“It seems pretentious but it’s not.  It’s very chill and we made friends at the bar.  There is a wide array of customers. It’s a crowded, non-hipster bar compared to the Comet and others.” – Karen

Judgings:

Ambiance: 3 stars

Booths: 3 Stars

Bartender: 4 Stars

A/C: Oh hell no. (If it’s hot out, stay clear!)

 

So that wraps the first night the Hill Hoppers hit the town.  Lessons learned: Randall is the man and you really should check out Grey.  When it’s hot, stay clear of Moe but head over to Purr to get a large, tasty cocktail (albeit for $10).  Beer and chips are all you should get at Bimbo’s and be prepared to have fun.  And, don’t ever forget Maharaja. Indian food for the frugal diner and happy hour till 9 PM can’t really be beat.

 

Some of the Hill Hoppers (Me, Justin, Jerod, Karen, Jamie, Bobby)

 Judging