Barley, Hops and the Hill

Let’s talk bars.

I don’t know if I can outright call that owners of Joe Bar liars, but I certainly felt misled and, thus, forced to drink there.  It was 6:30 on a Friday night and I was standing at the counter of a creperie.  Don’t get me wrong, I love crepes.  I love coffee (which is where the whole Joe part of the name comes from).  But, damn it, I wanted a bar.  They carried three different beers by Unibroue, from Canada, including the popular La Fin Du Monde (The End of the World).  Also in the case was Red Stripe, a few different beers by Pike Place Brewery and a couple I did not know.  Wine is also a choice for those looking to have something to compliment a sweet crepe of nutella and banana.  For those who might not think it through, they could end up with La Fin Du Monde which does not go well with that tasty crepe.  Next time…

The “bar” itself is adorable.  The counter is tucked under the cover of a petite loft that fits only a few tables.  The storefront is a large window with metal panes and a black cloth awning standing out to protect small cafe tables on the sidewalk.  A large oak tree stands right outside on the tree belt with its great green leaves hanging low and across the street is the brick front of the Harvard Exit Theatre.  Sitting, looking out the front one might forget they are in Seattle and drift to the streets of Paris.  

Since I flew solo to this one you only got my thoughts.  Unless you want to hear that Megan said “…it’s all the pretty people who just dropped their kids off at Montessori.  They are 30-somethings who are just too cool.”

Judgings:

Name: 0 Stars

Beer Selection: 3 Stars

Ambiance: 4 Stars

Crepes: 5 Stars

 

Next stop: Linda’s Tavern.  No longer solo, I have for you input from a whole slew of people.  In comparing Linda’s to Bill’s Off Broadway, Hopper Kirsten said, “She’s Bills more popular sister.  She’s hot, she has black hair and many tattoos.”  Very true.  You walk into Linda’s at any hour of the night and the place is already packed.  ”It’s an art to score a table,” says KV and it’s true.  We kept trying to upgrade to something bigger and each time we did we got a new waitress who always had black hair and tattoos.  Uniform?  The lighting is more yellow, orange on the wood walls and booths and also falling on the stuffed heads of various animals.  The people watching is a blast as just about every twenty-something in Capitol Hill stumbles in for a drink.  

As our party grew we moved to the back deck (”Who knew they  had a back deck?!” – Susie) we sat on our jackets and stared at the paint by numbers mural on the back wall.  Rumor has it, in the summer, they show movies outside.  The conversation got loud and embarrassing for some,  we talked to and about other patrons and kept putting off our eventual departure.  It’s just too damn fun at Linda’s.  ”It’s home of lewd conversation and delicious brews.  Always a crowd pleaser,” raved Hopper Susie.

As example of lewd conversation, here’s Hopper Duff’s nugget of knowledge:”You know what helps warm you up on a cold night? Vaginal intercourse.”  Thanks for your wisdom, sir.

Visitor Cori ‘from Denver, baby!’ had nothing but good things to say, too. “The bartenders are really, really friendly and sarcastically funny.” Kelsey drew a picture of a hippo standing on a person and drew an arrow to the decapitated head, labeling it Linda’s.  I have no idea what the hell that means.  You can interpret that one.

Judgings:

Ambiance: 5 Stars (casually comfortable)

The Outside Business: 5 Stars

Servers: 4 Stars

Bartenders: 4 Stars

Beer Selection: 4 Stars

Bathroom: 2 Stars (well lit, had tp, too small)

 

The only thing that could pry the Hoppers from Linda’s was a text saying that fellow Hoppers were at Redwood.  Like the wind we were out the door.   Faster than you can say ‘hipster’ we were at the counter of Redwood.  Standing at that bar one quickly realizes that this might be Capitol Hill’s best kept secret.  There is a mural of a large grizzly in the center of the room, an old rifle sits above the bar and the lamps that hang low are made from antlers.  A few arcade games sit in a back corner under the watchful eye of a huge stuffed moose head.  

Hopper Jenny quickly reminded us to stay focused and ask for a specialty.  The bartender, who clearly was having a busy night, made us bourbon and sweet tea.  Now, I’ve never been a bourbon girl.  Usually I avoid the stuff like conversations about sex with my mom.  There was just something magical about that drink, though.  The bourbon was strong but the sweetness of the tea helped balance it and make it slip right down with no problem.  Take the slice of lemon they give you and squeeze that sucker dry to make it a little more special.  Jenny is on a mission to find a good Dark and Stormy and found out that Redwood is “yet another bar incapable of concocting a Dark and Stormy.  They tried but failed.”  We saw a few mason jars going around and apparently they usually use those for some drinks.  There were indeed pint glasses but the few Hoppers who went for beer ended up with, um, red Solo cups.  Visiting Hopper Cori said, “Eh, red plastic cups make me feel like I’m at a frat party. The bathroom is gross.  There’s a puddle of what looks like pee.”  But apparently there’s something fascinatingin the corner of the bathroom.  Didn’t see it but you should see for yourself.

Hoppers Sarah, Justin and Katy could not stop gushing about the place.  Justin said,” A new fave! Love the scruffy guys in designer jeans.  It does an Alaskan proud.  Sweet tea and bourbon is awesome.  Fries smell dandy and so are the guys.  The Bartenders = so-so (not very enthusiastic).”  Sarah felt like she was back in Iowa (and was ECSTATIC to see a Hawkeye’s banner).  Visiting Hopper Sara (in from Philly) liked that it was not super crowded and had a good atmosphere.

So, sweet tea and bourbon is great.  Watch out if they are running low on cups or, well, you’ll have flashbacks to those frat parties. Maybe avoid the unisex bathroom.  Puddles?  Yuck.  Lastly, Redwood rocks, despite its flaws.  ”It’s divy without the seedy people” (Katy).  Gotta love that.

Judgings:

Ambiance: 5 Stars

Bartenders: 2 Stars

Drinks: 2.5 Stars

Decor: Amazing!

Bathroom: Sketchy

 

Thanks to everyone who came to Round 2.  The Hill Hoppers were…Kirsten, Kelsey, Duff, Justin, Sarah, Jenny, Micah, Sara, Cori, Sonia, Katy, and Mindy.  Next week there is no Barley, Hops and the Hill but we will all be at Office Nomads (1617 Boylston Ave) for the 6 month celebration open house on Friday night.  

 

Stay tuned for Round 3.