You Know What Happens When You Assume…
Apparently, assuming that attending Trivia Night at Hopvine would include trivia would be dumb. You, friend, would be WAY off. All twelve Hoppers sauntered in to the very crowded Hopvine to get a taste of delicious competition only to wait. And wait. And wait some more. But, during the waiting, we killed time in style.
Jumping in, thanks to all the Hoppers who came. Unfortunately we were such a force to be reckoned with that Hopvinecouldn’t handle us and some folks had to eat next door then went home. Hopvine is a sweet little pub on 15th that wants to be your regular neighborhood spot (”It’s quaint and cozy” – Gillian). It’s owned by the same people who have Latona Pub and 74th Street Alehouse. There are booths and tables and a small bar to sit at. Two tables are on the sidewalk for those 4 days a year in which it doesn’t rain. The food menu holds the standards that you can eat anytime of day. “The food was good. Nachos were good portions, pizza was pretty good for the price,” said new Hopper Courtney. Their beer list is always changing with some great options. We drank Cream Ales, discussed the science there. Had a couple Shakespeare Stouts. Nobody even considered a mixed drink. We had to fight for tables when our party grew to bigger than two.
Trivia….kinda happened. At 8:15 we checked with the bar as to why no trivia had started. Apparently the guys who run it had not shown up and nobody knew where they were. We double, triple and quadruple checked until 8:45. The WHOLE bar was there for trivia. We killed time by making up our own trivia. Hopper Caitlin has some crazy knowledge about banana slug mating and chewing off of certain appendages. Yes, I mean that one. 
Finally someone jumped up and yelled out that they were running home for their Trivial Pursuit and the whole place erupted into cheers, people hugged, some cried. Or maybe it was just me. Amateur trivia night with Trivial Pursuit turned out to be pretty fun. Hopper Caitlin heckled the man constantly and somehow he didn’t get violent towards our team. Our two teams took silver (ROYGBIV/Rainbow Children) and bronze (We Are Derogatory). The servers won me over when they forgot to charge us for a pint and a pitcher. Yay Hopvine!
Judgings:
Original Trivia: ZERO
Trivial Pursuit Trivia from Unknown Year: 4 stars
Beer List: 4 Stars
Service: 2.5 (deductions for bringing the wrong soup and being too busy playing to do job)
Quaintness: Great
Now is when I admit that I lost half the cards on the road somewhere between Hopvine and my home. I’m sure y’all were so witty. I’ll show you love next time.
Summit and Mercer is the Corner to Be
When we’ve told bartenders that we are going on a hop around Capitol Hill, they always ask if we have done Sun Liquor yet. Apparently, for those in the know, Sun Liquor is the place to have a stellar cocktail. If that is not your mood you can always stroll next door to The Summit and have a beer, watch sports and be really, really loud. I love this block! The Hill Hoppers who represented on Friday were Duff, John, Judi and Justin.
I believe the lost passage is “and on the 8th day, God created Sun Liquor”. Yeah, that sounds right. It is ever-so-discreet in the middle of a block which is surrounded by condos and houses. I walked by it the first time before I got it right and pushed inside. Now, the sign said Happy Hour was from 5-7 PM but at 7 PM there were three people at the bar drinking alone. Of course, I joined right in. The lighting is very low with candles on each table and a faint glow coming from the bar. The bar was manned by one amazing mixologist, Will (’on his way to being one of Seattle’s premier mixologists’ – Duff). At his disposal our man Will had a fridge full of champagne and wine, Polish beers and Red Stripe, and ginger beer. Shelves of liquor behind him let us know that you should be serious about taste to drink here. A juicer sits at the bar so fresh squeezed juice can go into your drink. Amazing, no?
There was a drink menu and we each asked for something off that (fantastic!). Hopper Judi loved her drink loaded with151. She drew us all a little character which says “151 is Great!” Duff and I decided to test our bartender but first inquired as to why other bartenders loved this place. “Well, I think it is because we make classic cocktails and that is what bartenders like to drink. Also, we use fresh squeezed juices in our drinks.” Duff ended up with the Green Point which is a variation of a Manhattan and has whiskey, dry vermouth, bitters, Chartreuse, and a dash of Amer Picon. It was such a hit Justin ordered one. I asked for Will’s specialty. Hellloooo, Desoto. Fresh squeezed lemon and lime juice, sugar, ginger beer, rum and pineapple juice. Tart, sweet, great. “You can only get that here,” Will informed me. Oh, I’ll be back. Around 10 PM the tables had all filled up with four-somes. Anything bigger doesn’t work in this place. We paid our bills and said good-bye fulling knowing that we will all be back.
Judgings:
Ambience: 4 Stars (”Punk in a South Pacific Themed bar? A-Lo-Ha!”)
Lighting: Way too dark
Drinks: 5 Stars (John, the beer drinker, even liked his Jasmine)
Bartender: 5
Bathrooms: Freaking Cold
Right next to Sun Liquor is The Summit Pub. Walking in you find a lot of dark wood, a free pool table, and a lot of friends hanging out getting rowdy. A bit off a shock after Sun Liquor but still nice. The place looked like all the table tops should be sticky, the bathrooms probably are gross and everyone was probably drunk. Getting to the bar we were greeted with a nice list of beers and a bartender ready to please. He let me taste test 2 beers I didn’t know before I settled on something I already loved. It was a good list that allows exploration but still leaves the safeties. The bartender was chatty and offered to bring my drink to our table. Table service in this pub? Surprises all around.
We settled in to a double two top and were immediately memorized by the Olympics opening ceremony. Should we discuss the fact that the Swiss looked like they were off to the beach? Or that Venezuela made me shudder in the tracksuits? Then the country in the light blue and orange outfits… The condolence card is in the mail. Amongst the inebriated at Summit, our snarky comments fit and we could laugh as loud as we pleased, everyone else was having fun. As Hopper John pointed out, Summit is “…a nice place to get drunk. After Sun Liquor it was a bit loud and smoky but a good place to end a night of drinking.” Amen.
Judgings:
Olympics: 2.5 Stars
Beer Selection: 3.5 Stars
Atmosphere: 3 Stars
Thanks to the Hoppers who came out this week! It was fun, as always. Next time ’round is trivia night. Are you ready for that?
Like a Prayer
I am at a loss for a witty intro so I am just going to jump in and say thanks to the Hoppers who came out to the Hill this last Happy Hour. We were graced with the presence of Sarah, Cat, Carl-Erich, Paige, Kendra, Susie, Alexis, Jeff, and Meagan. As a whole we took over the establishment known as Chapel and, afterwards, a duo took on Poco Wine Room. To say the least, it was a happening time.
Chapel (1600 Melrose Ave) is probably one of my favorite spaces. Who doesn’t love drinking in an old funeral parlor? Personally I think there is nothing better. Obviously, the place is rocking since The Gossip filmed a music video in the space.
Walk in through the double doors and you emerge into a space that looks bigger than it is. The walls are painted a dark grey and are home to large arched mirrors which make the room appear three times its size. Hopper Alexis thought it was all ‘creepy-chic’, especially with the mirrors. A few tables scatter the center of the floor and there are about sleek white tables that line the walls. In the center of it all in the back there is an elegantly white bar. The top is high up and for those who are vertically challenged to begin with, this doesn’t do much for the self esteem. But then, get this, there is outdoor seating. And thank God for that because Chapel really doesn’t have the space for a Happy Hour crowd. So, outside the 10 of us sat.
Five dollar martinis can’t really be beat, can they? Especially when the selection is as wide as certain bedunk-a-dunks and pretty damn tasty. Hopper Sarah mixed it up with first going with a lavender martini (’made me feel like I should be in Seattle with all its organiciness’) and then a coconut martini (’which made me feel like I should be on a beach”). My pink martini was supposed to have a rose flavor to it but I didn’t get that. All I know is that I don’t usually like martinis and I had two of those. Other options people liked were the Whitehorse, Milkman’s Daughter, Sassafras (’nice but a bit too sweet’), the mojito and Cat’s fruity explosion. Cat, what was that called? Hopper Jeff said the drinks were like heaven as opposed to the mussels which ‘taste like urine’. Sometimes you guys worry me with your descriptions. Moving on…The atmosphere outside was ‘eh’ and that was it. Sometimes is smelled like pot, other times like yeast, and then like city air. Yeah, weird. The bathrooms were undercover although everyone rated them solid but Susie described the adventure best by saying ‘that you have to stand outside for a second and wonder if you were in the right place. Not fun.’ For future reference it’s a grey door with ‘MW’ in the top left corner of it.
So, we stayed there for almost 4 hours just talking amongst ourselves. Actually the company and conversation got more rave reviews than the drinks. Mitchell, our server, sucked and was lucky to get the automatic tip for a large party. In summation, great drinks, I ‘by mistake’ felt up Susie, and we had to make signs for our server saying ‘We run a blog judging YOU!’ and “We’re interested in OUR CHECK”. Check it out!
Judgings:
Drinks: 4.5 Stars
Bathroom: 3 Stars
Mitchell: Try a little harder
Food: 3.5 Stars (except for the mussels)
Company: 5 Stars!
So, a little before ten people decided they had to go home and sleep because they had been drinking for 4 hours (but nobody was drunk!). We parted ways and then Hill Hopper Sarah and I went to Poco Wine Room (1408 East Pine). They bill themselves as ‘an intimate retreat for friends, lovers and the wine-curious’. Poco is a small wine bar in a two story storefront of a new condo complex. The space itself is miniscule and I think most of us would complain if that was our apartment. The downstairs is just a bar with a few stools following its curve to the stairs in back. Upstairs is really a loft with a long bar you can sit at which allows you to look at the ceiling lighting. There are some couches and spaces which allow for some larger groups or just you plus one to sit. The lighting was dimmed and with the dark furniture and wood decorated walls (as in decorated with wood) and it made the place feel cozy despite the fact that we were in a modern space. It would be great for Belltown.
Sarah and I each went for a glass of red. Mine was a $9 from Spain called Saludo and Sarah went for a $7 Chilean which we can’t remember. Both of us liked our drinks a lot and probably would have tried some others if it didn’t drain our wallets doing so. The vibe was relaxing and we sat there for a long time chit chatting. It was a solid place but I don’t see myself running there anytime soon.
Judgings:
Wines: 4 Stars
Ambiance: 4 Stars
Server: 4 Stars (perfect amount of attentiveness)
And with that we wrapped the night. Chapel was a total good time and I would suggest it for Happy Hour (or else you pay AT LEAST $7 per drink). Seating can be a pain in the toches to get so showing up early is key. Poco Wine Room turned out to be a solid bet if you want a good glass of wine to match with conversation. Don’t try people watching there since really only 5 other people could fit in the place. Thanks, again, to the Hill Hoppers who came out this week.
Stick with me kid…
I know the majority of you got home from work on Tuesday, looked at your watch and thought, “I am too tired to go to BHH. It always goes late and I don’t have the energy to be smart at trivia.” Well, I think you should know that it was an early night. I got home around 2:30 AM, early Wednesday morning. It wasn’t that trivia at Clever Dunnes was so riveting (more on that later) but more the phone call we got at 10 PM telling us about the private concert Wynton Marsalis (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wynton_Marsalis) was putting on at Canlis at midnight. So, first, thanks to all Hopper who came out on a weeknight. We had Jerod, Justin, Duff, Bob and Ginger. And, now, for the report…
Ah, Clever Dunne’s. We showed up around 8:20 to find a small crowd had already begun to fill in the bar for its trivia night The bar itself is an oddly shaped space. As you walk in there is a narrow strip to the left that has booths lined on the right and darts in the corner. Going to the right from the door opens into a bigger space with the bar up a few steps, a pool table and some seating. For a place with trivia, seating is awkward and the tables seat 3 dwarves comfortably. To get enough seating we had to negotiate with a twosome hogging 8 chairs. Justin beat them up am we ran off giggling with the new chair. Sitting next to huge open windows on a warm summer evening sounded like a fantastic idea until the smoke from the cancer-stick sucking patrons outside floated in to settle as a cloud among us. Delicious.
The bartender was a scraggly 20-something who was enjoying his last night of bartending before moving on to bigger and better. The Hoppers stuck to beer, mainly Boddingtons since this did not look like a cocktail venue. Hopper Jerod’s heart could be heard breaking when he realized it was a fake Irish pub and came back complaining about the poor selection of drinks. Trivia was hosted by two fellows who were great when they were not trying to be funny. ’Kerri Strugg’s Broken Ankle’ was a clear contender for the number one spot even though we fumbled Ross Perot’s 
birthplace (does anyone really care?). The whole crowd had a really fun energy to it and it was obvious that we were surrounded by regulars. The banter and shouts were all positive and it was even nice when the host threatened to beat someone’s face in when they yelled the answer out. The photo round was butter (easy) and we were feeling a little full of ourselves when a phone call came in…
Now, yes, I know that we are supposed to stick to Capitol Hill and judge only Capitol Hill but when Hopper Sarah calls to announce a last minute late night concert by Wynton Marsalis at Canlis, folks drop what they do and get dudded. We rolled up to Canlis and set the place on fire with our hotness. Marsalis was supposed to play at Benaroya last night but, Hopper Bob reports, cancelled the show last minute, called Canlis and asked to play there instead. Marsalis had a whole group of friends with him and a band which included drums, upright bass, piano and sax. As they played different friends of Marsalis slid in played on their own trumpets or took Marsalis’ and blew our minds. I tried using a thesaurus to come up with a word for the music and talent we witnessed and will say that if you put together ‘amazing, astonishing, astounding, fantastic, marvelous, incredible, phenomenal, prodigious, stupendous, unbelievable, wonderful and wondrous’ you start to get close (thank you Roget’s). Many thanks to Chris Matthews for making this possible by getting the word to us.
Now to judge what some consider the best restaurant in the city. We sat in the lounge with an incredible view of Wallingford, Lake Union and Gas Works behind us. We, also, were in the same section as Marsalis and his friends so our server was not as attentive as we would have preferred. It also could have been that we had crammed 6 people in a 4 person table and the woman did not smell the cash on us. Regardless, it took a while to convince her to pay attention to us and take our order. She seated us and mentioned they had champagne by the glass and then gave us an awkward stare down. Hopper Duff was in the mood for a scotch and the sommelier, Michael, came right over and was incredibly helpful in finding something to fit Duff’s taste. When the drink came he was pleased. Hoppers Justin and Jerod when with gin and tonics and immediately Justin was raving about how well it was mixed and proportioned. Hopper Ginger went with an Irish Coffee and jumped to order a second one as soon as it was finished. I caved under the stare down and ordered a champagne (Billecart-Salmon Brute Rosé). I have never paid so much for a glass of anything but it had power and depth, with strawberry, cassis, citrus, bread dough and mineral tones. Intense on the palate with red berries, dried flowers and a delicate yeasty note. Nope, those are totally my words. And let’s talk about the truffle fries. AMAZING! THE BEST! ’Nuff said.
So, stick with us, kid, and magical things will happen. Turns out Canlis really is all that. The food, the drink, the view… Clever Dunne’s was buckets of fun and we will return to finish the trivia night and we will really dominate. Thanks to the Hill Hoppers who came out and dressed to impress. Once again we did not fill out the cards so I would love to hear your thoughts as would the rest of the world. No Hop this weekend so have buckets of fun with the fireworks. Please don’t blow yourself up.
We Forgot The Cards!
Yes, oh the shame! The cards weren’t filled out! My fault. I take the blame of not getting in ink the wit that oozes out of the Hoppers when we invade establishments. This week’s missed thoughts belong to Jerod, Jamie, Kelley, Shannon, Cleo, Justin, Rodney, Jillian, Duff, Jeff, Sandy and Aileen (spelling?). These fine folks got on their dancing shoes and partook in the adventure of me planning a night of dancing. The Baltic Room, The War Room, Bill’s Off Broadway and The Cuff were all graced with the presence of the Hill Hoppers last night.
First, you all missed Justin, Sarah and I watching the Olympic gymnastics trials. It was riveting, exciting, nerve-racking, and inspiring. Hell, I’m in a leotard now as I write this. What?
(My new hero, Shawn Johnson)Second up, The Baltic Room. The space has incredibly high ceilings which could have been used to make 2 full floors with some extra seating. Places to sit and relax are lacking and instead there is a lot of standing room. Two bars dispense the alcohol. A small dance floor makes up the far west side of the club and the DJ stand is hunkered in the middle of the action. The man spins as people dance and a HUGE screen projects the silhouettes of women dancing in neon lighting. This did not inspire too much hip shakin’.
So, when the website of a club advertises 
night you expect, what? Bollywood? Wow are you so off, as were we. Turns out The Baltic Room had an unadvertised private party which requested house/electronica for the evening. Crushed, downtrodden we turned to the bar to drown our sorrows. I asked for a Lemon Drop and the man wanted $8 from me so I passed for a beer. Hopper Rodney got a bracelet for $20 which allowed him all the beer and well drinks his liver desired. His whiskey gingers came in small plasic cups. You know the ones you get on the airplane? It was just that classy at The Baltic Room. Granted, the drinks were strong and the poor man had to double-dog-dare himself to drink them. Hopper Jarrod returned from the men’s room with tales of an attendant who dispenses soap. Upon hearing this I sprinted to the women’s room to see this sort of service. I was hit with an odor similar to that of the NYC subway, graffiti, and no attendant. The Baltic Room is the only place in Seattle where the men get a better bathroom.
Overall, the Hoppers enjoyed sitting in a corner chatting each other up and sharing drinks. Bar service was ridiculously fast and, thus, the drinks kept coming. Sadly, the electronica failed to inspire and we moved towards the War Room.
Judgings:
Jerod gives us his thoughts: “I think it would be unfair to judge the Baltic Room based on that night. It was truly terrible. And the fact that all their advertising everywhere said it was going to be Bollywood, and then there was a small sign on the door that said it wasn’t… that’s pretty lame. But I’ve always liked the BR, so I guess I’d say that they generally have good music, the space isn’t bad (though the dance floor is too small), I like the video screens (especially when they have the nekkid ladies in silhouette), and the drinks are fairly mixed and priced. Then you could throw in the “make sure there isn’t a private birthday party hosted by DJ Craptastic” disclaimer.”
Hmm, so I’d like to tell you all about The War Room, but I didn’t get in there. Dedicated Hill Hoppers Jerod, Cleo, Rodney, Kelley and Jillian boogied on its floors. Since I was not there I can’t say anything except that the line in F-in’ long. Jerod, as the knight in shining armor he is, stepped in and saved the day with his thoughts. “Very crowded, but everyone was chill. Kelley did complain she was getting elbowed out of her space sometimes, but I didn’t have any trouble keeping my spot. The music was okay. The dj was mashing up a lot of 80’s R&B (Belle Biv Devoe, Bobby Brown) and more recent hiphop (Jay Z, Black Eyed Peas) w/ some bassy backbeats. And a live mc was rapping along and working the room. Not terrible, but not terribly good.” Apparently on Thursday nights there is a dancehall reggae night that we will all need to check out sometime soon.
Bill’s Off Broadway 
was a haven from the frustration I was feeling. Maybe it’s the awkward entrance that has you pass the kitchen area, or the fact that only two dozen people are there, or Hall and Oats’ melodious voices which make the place immediately cozy. Hill Hoppers Jaimie, Shannon, Justin, Jeff and Duff decided to grab a beer at this overlooked establishment. The bar itself is tucked two steps down from the main part of the room. It has the regular beers on tap (Stella, Mack and Jacks, Manny’s, etc) and we went that route. Hopper Jeff showed the ‘tender his British Columbia license and she told him she could not serve him. We got out a few comments about them being nationists and close-minded just in time for them to retract the previous statement and served him.
We stayed close to the bar but the main area is a green carpeted sea of small wooden tables and a big pool table. There is outside seating for those few warm nights. We did not wander too far from the Chippendales Erotic Photo Hunt and set 3 high scores. Yay to jabbing at half naked men! The music was all non-offensive, sing-along stuff. For every song, and every chorus, the whole place raised its energy level and sang along. The clock was set to real time (as opposed to that 15 min ahead bar time) and had a sign saying so. Bill’s takes its casual drinking seriously and will give you every moment of it you deserve. Damn right!
Judgings:
Hoppers?
And then there was The Cuff. 
. By the time we found our way that far east, we had lost many Hoppers along the way. The group that remained was Justin, Rodney, Jillian, Cleo and I. The Cuff is a magical place that has 3 different bars in one establishment. The first bar looks sketchy as hell, painted all black with a wall of pull tabs (why?). Oh, and we can’t forget the man shining shoes in the corner. There is a gift shop where you can get all kinds of leather and steel toys. I only recognized one thing in there and was too scared to ask the man in leather chaps any questions.
Down a ramp outside you find a big outdoor bar with wooden benches, a covered bar, big heaters, and lots of bodies enjoying the end of rain.
Through a set of we have the dance club. Ah, the whole reason for the night. There is another small bar in this room which serves all the goods. After 2 AM they only serve water, juice, Red Bull and coffee to get all the dancers through to close. A wall of mirrors makes the room look bigger than its medium size. Black painted walls, black lights, strobe lights, neon lights, a disco ball, and two huge flat screens showing previews for new gay porns sets the vibe for dancing and not caring what the hell else is going on. The DJ was playing electronica and we were ready to pour out all of our energy. At 2 AM the floor was PACKED and by 2:45 there were only a few dozen still bobbing. We had fun trying to count all the women in the place (5?). Hopper Jillian got a bit too tipsy and started grinding on everyone on the dance floor. Cleo showed us all how to do a great interpretive dance. And we all did our damndest to make it to the 3 AM closing. The Hoppers had buckets of fun wearing out our dance shoes.
Judgings:
????
That’s it for this week. This coming weekend I am detained but we are looking into hitting the pubs midweek next week. Stay tuned. And Hoppers, give me your thoughts, your sarcasm, your juvenile humor to add to the above. Thanks again to everyone who came out. You’re beautiful.
Let’s Discuss
Let’s discuss the fun that was Friday night. It was a splendidly mellow evening of 3 bars, a few beers, one over-priced cocktail and bone marrow. The Hoppers this week were Paige, Carl-Erich, Justin, Mark, Duff, Susie, and Kelly. As always, thanks for hitting the hood with me. By the way, pictures will accompany this in 2 days.
We started the night at the incredible Smith on 15th Ave. Now, I might have a special place in my heart for this place due to the Big Boss Porter that they serve. It’s pretty much liquid chocolate at 9% alcohol. Thank you Poland! But, it’s an experience no matter what you get. Smith is a large dark room with a skylight in the ceiling so in the evening in the summer you have the sweet natural light shining down on the long tables in the center of the bar. The walls are wallpaper and canvas decorated with all sorts of taxidermied heads and animals. If you are a veg, might be a good place to avoid. Another wall is covered in portraits of god knows who. Pretty much the word that comes to mind for Smith is ‘gamey’. Do with that what you’d like.
I asked for the drink special which turned out to be $9 of really nothing good. It was a cocktail but it tasted like they just dumped rum in a martini glass and tossed in a cherry. Looking into the multiple beer taps and the 4 door glass fridge of beers, a liquor drinker can realize his/her mistake. C-E was in lust. “Great beer selection though it’s no Stumbling Monk. One night with an iron stomach and a fistful of cash, Smith will fulfill your desires for different (yet not that different) foods.” The food menu ‘is broad and wide and will make your ass broad and wide’ (thanks for that Justin). Hopper Mark was ecstatic to try the marrow. His take? “Bone marrow = gross. Tastes like bone marrow. Not sure why it looked so good on the Travel Channel.” Maybe it was the scooping the marrow out of the bone which Paige rightly pointed out was not labeled. Cow? Dog? Californian? Tasted like crap.
Judgings:
Service: 4 Stars
Atmosphere: 4 Stars (Yes, taxidermy is ‘chic’)
Drawings in the Men’s Bathroom: 5 Stars (guess we all need to explore)
Bartenders: 4 Stars
Cocktails: Crap
Looking around at the Hoppers, one could immediately tell we were a sophisticated bunch on Friday and mature enough to handle a bar with no blasting music. We were ready for 22 Doors. This place is tucked between respectable businesses on 15th Ave and looks like it wants to be one too, kinda. The walls are a darker yellow and show off the work of local artists. Booths of brown leather line the walls in the front half while a large bars relaxes in the back. The bar top is made of doors with the door knobs still in tact. Justin and Susie were not amused when I made car sounds and pretended I was driving with the door knob. Come on, tell me some other reason why they might be there. An outside patio is tucked on the side and you would be unaware if you aren’t in the know. Now you are. Welcome. Heaters hang low so that, when they are working, you can enjoy the extra seating and not freeze your arse off in the Seattle summer air.
(Susie being weird)
Now, I have got to say, this place was a let down after going for brunch last week. Hopper Justin was on that, too. “Servers are more attractive in the morning. Maybe they are like the lights on Virgin Airlines and change with the time of day.” The morning staff = delicious. Evening staff = forgettable. Our server reminded Hopper Mark of Willy Wonka and C-E of Peter Pan. The crowd, too, was a bit dull. The people who go there are older, looking for a quieter place to get a cocktail and talk about the gossip from your kid’s soccer team. All the drinks that we imbibed received positive comments, even Kelly’s water. This place is somewhere you never need to go for a night out. Brunch, though, is great (good food, great prices, perfect portions).
Judgings:
Staff: 2.5 Stars (as averaged between the morning and evening)
Ambiance: Snooze
Drinks: 4 Stars
Patio: 5 Stars
22 Doors: We only counted 9
So, our modest group shrunk to the only serious drinkers and, most likely, the only ones who might have problems: Mark, Justin and I. And to Barça we went. Barça is a cavernous space with two levels and two differnt bars inside. The walls are dark red and the furniture is black. The lighting could allow for all kinds of dark deeds to go on in booths unknown. The downstairs has limited seating but an expansive bar with many, many taps. I’m fairly certain they serve liquor but I was too focused on reading the array of beer. I pointed at the one I didn’t know and turns out it was Belgium deliciousness. Don’t ask me what it was. They seem to specialize in beers that have their own glasses as the three of us each proudly proclaimed our choices without saying a word.
Upstairs is a mob scene of booths. Downstairs is for standing, upstairs is for slowing life down. A small bar is tucked in the corner and they label themselves a vodka bar. I threw up a little in my mouth looking at it. Hopper Mark liked the digs. “It could be in Belltown, except I don’t hate everyone on sight. Seems like a great pre/post drink place. Good music, but you can still have a conversation without yelling. Great place for a ‘group hang’ leading to a hook up.” People watching here is a total trip. One woman terrified us all with her sculpted arms. Mark feared “she’s going to rip my head off my shoulders and drink my blood.” Justin complained that you can’t tell who is gay. Ah, the stuggles of Barça .
Judgings:
Beer: 4 Stars
Ambiance: 3 Stars
Staff: 4 Stars
Booths: 4 Stars
People Watching: 5 Stars
‘Twas a memorable evening of mellowness. Every once in a while that is great. But we are coming back with a big ol KAPOW this week. We are GOING DANCING! That’s right, Saturday night is our first dance night. First a party at my digs (1113 15th Ave) starting at 7 PM, 8 PM, whenever you want it to start. Then we will go to War Room and then The Cuff. You ready to get your dancing shoes ready? Nice.
Lessons Learned
This week’s outing was all chalk full of lessons one should take in. The first lesson: If one wishes to attend BHH in one piece, wear a helmet while speeding down Fremont Ave in the rain. Take that one to heart.
Now I must thank all the Hoppers who took to the bars on Saturday after a schedule change. Big props to Duff, Susie, Sarah, Justin, Katy, Catherine, Hart, Jenny, Micah, Wendy, John, Carl-Erich, Paige, Meghan, Emily, Jeff, Jarrod, and others. There were seriously a lot of you. Holy be-jesus. We went to the always exciting Stumbling Monk, The Elite, Taco Gringos, and, sadly, the Crescent.
The Stumbling Monk 
is nestled on the corner of Boylston and Olive. The lesson we all took away from here is that one really can look at the Dictionary at a bar and have fun doing it. Oh, and that Hart is a big, big dork.
Entering The Stumbling Monk one is struck by how dark it is at 8 PM in June. Maybe it was the black floors or the dark wood booths with abnormally small tables. There are a few large table with plenty of seating to allow a big group to get cozy. Enveloping the door is a tall book shelf spilling over with classic board games such as Scrabble and, the always popular, Star Wars Trivial Pursuit (what?!). The walls were lined with kegs which could serve as extra seating, although I don’t think that is what they were intended for. One wall is wallpapered with really well decorated coasters thanks to many doodling patrons. I wanted to sketch something but was greatly intimidated by the talent. A bar runs along the right-hand wall for about 3/4 of it and the “stoic” tender gets ready to serve you anything from the abundant beer collection. Responsible DD, Jarrod, was very happy with the soda selection.
Hill Hopper Justin loved the “informative bartender who helps navigate the extensive Belgian beer list.” You tell the bartender what sort of beer you like and he doesn’t even hesitate to suggest at least two beers that aren’t what you want, but what you need in your life. Hopper Carl-Erich admitted “It’s like I died and went to beer heaven and didn’t have enough money. This is where I hope to go when I die…If they had scotch I’d never leave.” The bartender guided one stout drinker to the mind-blowing find of Ten-Fiddy from Oskar Blues Grill and Brewery in Lyon, CO. Out of the can the stout got rave reviews from our crowd. One can only imagine its awesomeness from a keg…
There are a few odd pieces to the Monk. First, Hopper Jenny was struck by the fact that the place did smell like a pool. Maybe that’s what Belgium smells like? Hoppers made the very mature assessment that the bathroom ceiling looks like a vagina. Pictures coming soon. If Hopper Emily knew that ahead of time she probably would not have taken her parents there when they visited. The place is dark, the furniture is a bit odd and the place smells funny. But, man, that beer….
Judgings:
Booths: 1 Star (What the heck is up with the tables?)
Beer: 5 Stars
Bartender: 4 Stars (Could have been taller)
Lighting: 2 Stars (take ugly dates here)
Watching Duff Wallop Susie at Scrabble: Priceless
After The Stumbling Monk we lost some folks to concerts and other commitments but the strong ones pushed on to The Elite. I know, it sounds exciting, doesn’t it? History factoid: The Elite is Seattle’s oldest gay bar. The Elite is at 1520 Olive, across from Clever Dunnes Irish Pub. Walking through the glass front door you are immediately met by the compact bar RIGHT THERE. The walls are a bright salmon and green and the lighting was refreshing after The Stumbling Monk. Hopper Wendy was not so down with the colors and Hopper Justin agreed. ”Poor paint job – looks like something you would consult a gay about, ironically”. The front room by the bar had a number of bodies in it, especially by the front display window tables. Down a few steps in back you had a bigger room with a pool table in the center and then a smaller room attached to that with comfy seating and a TV.
We were greeted at the bar with the fantastic Ryan. The man had energy and was ready to have some fun with drinks. I said tequila and he said pomegranate margarita. Hopper Jenny was shot down for her Dark and Stormy and has learned to no longer ask for that. She went for the pomegranate martini. They do have beer but it is the regular assortment. Nothing to write home about.
The Hoppers grabbed the pool table with no problem but soon pissed off some folks with, well, the lack of skill harnessed by Jenny, Susie and myself. Lesson learned: NEVER have one of us on your team. The lack of seating in the room with the pool table clearly was a terrible choice and we stood around for a long stretch of time.
Hopper Susie gives us a peak into her tipsy thoughts, “Ok. The Elite. Stunning. Ryan-the bartender- was fantastic – took very good care of me. See? So friendly. LOVED the women’s/staff bathrooms. OK. All done now.” Thanks Susie for your eloquence and all the slashes.
Judgings:
Decor: 2 Stars (Egyptians, and lions, oh my!)
Bartender: 4 Stars
Bartender Name: 3 Stars (not original enough)
Crowd: 3 Stars (Not too many folks. ”Boy Toy” shirts were spotted.)
So, Ryan got me a bit tipsy and I pretty much stumbled next door with the Hoppers to Taco Gringos for, you guessed it, tacos. We got cheap tacos which are clearly the best ones on Capitol Hill. The two owners work late into the night making their tacos themselves for all you alcoholed folks. Two lessons were learned here. First, rabbit tacos are FANTASTIC! Second, take permanent markers away from me when I’m under the influence. Check out Taco Gringos at 1510 Olive Way.
The last stop on the tour was The Crescent. Looking at the index cards right now, one learns that we were too tipsy at Crescent to write anything down about it. Oh well. The Crescent (1413 Olive Way) is, as Hopper Duff has described it, a shady tranny bar. They have karaoke always which is good or bad depending how you look at it. On Saturday night it was NOT a good thing. The late night crowd couldn’t be described so much as melodious as they were just wailing into the mic. The good thing is that the crowd will cheer you on, no matter the fact that Roseanne Barr could have done it better.
From the outside The Crescent looks like a sports bar with its painted wood panel exterior and neon lights. Entering one immediately understands the difficulties sardines endure. The place is a tight squeeze. That is not so much the fact that so many folks have flooded in to sing as it is that the bar is a huge island in the middle of the room which leaves standing space very limited. We won’t get into the concoction the bartender cooked up. If you like basic beers or the drinks we drank in college then go here.
Pretty much the Hopper’s didn’t have much good stuff to say about The Crescent. Lesson learned: You don’t ever have to go to The Crescent. Just don’t.
Judgings:
I’m hate being so negative so I’m not even going to do this part.
Thanks to everyone who came out. It was an absolute blast. It was an educational outing to say the least.
Next Stop: 7 PM June 13th we’ll be starting at Smith and will be going to the Cantebury and Hopvine.
Tots and The Terminator
This week felt a little like a deep breath for my liver. My liver and I didn’t try and go for the gold of 3, 4 or 5 bars this week. This week Liver, myself, and the Hoppers stayed low key. We zoomed into Office Nomads and turned it into the Hill’s new hot spot then rushed off to the Six Arms to meet another Hill Hopper. Want to hear all about it? Okay!
Office Nomads was all full of bodies when we got there too late. Sierra Nevada had kept their promise and gave our your entrepreneurs three free mini kegs. They were hooked up through a little cooler similar to the one I used for my lunch box at summer camp. The only difference is that mine didn’t have a fancy tap on the front. The bright walls with the exposed brick gave the place a homey feel, especially with the bookshelf of board games in back (What? no Trivial Pursuit?). Some folks were dressed to impress while others stayed true to the laid back attitude that are the Hill Hoppers. Hill Hopper Kelsey had some fantastic large print photography on display. We looked, we judged, we loved.
Promptly at 9 the kegs were kicked. A run to the fridge revealed that we’d also taken out the case of PBR (nothing but class at Nomads) and the other random beers laying about. We’d had all one could consume and thus had to be on our way to the next stop. Thanks Nomads! Check ‘em out at http://www.officenomads.com.
Guest Hill Hopper Mark and I huffed it to Six Arms for some cajun tots and McMenamins brew. Six Arms seems to rest on the corner of Pine and whatever that other street is. There are large windows so anywhere you sit you can people watch the interesting kids wandering the hood. The lighting late at night is a bit dark and isn’t helped by the dark wood and leather booths. Anyone thinking of sleeping could zonk in that light. But the booths are huge and our palatial spot could have fit 8 but we maxed out at six. The bar itself is long and sticks out from beneath the upper loft which has a good bunch of tables. I’m beginning to see this loft area as a theme of Capitol Hill bars. Hmm…
Back on track. The bar was long. Yes. And decorated with foreign bills and a few Georges up there. Piping snaked around creating an arch and then barrier to the bar itself. Hopper Mark loved the look. ”It’s not something you see elsewhere. I like the character of this place.” A huge light fixture hung down next to the bar and reminded me of the stars outside that we rarely see.
And the tater tots! Cajun spiced to perfection. The tots you grew up with have nothing on these. Hopper Mark had some issue with the spice but he’s from the Midwest so I don’t think that counts. Hopper Susie went for the Garden Burger and was rather satisfied with its deliciousness.
Our server had some issues remembering who ordered what beer. I think it was sexist thinking as he kept putting my dark beer in front of male Hoppers and giving me the IPAs. The Terminator is just like the Terminator at Dad Watsons, McMenamins in QA and all the others. It’s a stout that doesn’t feel too heavy when it gets down. I forgot to write down my thoughts so that’s what I’ve got for ya.
McMenamins is the sort of establishment where you can always rely on it. You will enjoy your food and drink there but it’s not something you are going to write home about. In the end we closed the place down without realizing we were doing so. The crowd never got too big and the place never got too loud. Chill with a beer, friends and hang for a few hours with no worries.
Judgings:
Beer: 4 Stars
Tots: 5 Stars
Booths: 5 Stars
Lighting: Put Duff to sleep so 0 stars (well, it was either that or the fact that he gets up at 4 AM)
Thanks to all the Hill Hoppers who were out. This week’s short list is Meagan, Kelsey, Duff, Susie and Mark. See you all this Saturday at Stumbling Monk!
Nuggets of Knowledge
Let’s talk bars.
I don’t know if I can outright call that owners of Joe Bar liars, but I certainly felt misled and, thus, forced to drink there. It was 6:30 on a Friday night and I was standing at the counter of a creperie. Don’t get me wrong, I love crepes. I love coffee (which is where the whole Joe part of the name comes from). But, damn it, I wanted a bar. They carried three different beers by Unibroue, from Canada, including the popular La Fin Du Monde (The End of the World). Also in the case was Red Stripe, a few different beers by Pike Place Brewery and a couple I did not know. Wine is also a choice for those looking to have something to compliment a sweet crepe of nutella and banana. For those who might not think it through, they could end up with La Fin Du Monde which does not go well with that tasty crepe. Next time…
The “bar” itself is adorable. The counter is tucked under the cover of a petite loft that fits only a few tables. The storefront is a large window with metal panes and a black cloth awning standing out to protect small cafe tables on the sidewalk. A large oak tree stands right outside on the tree belt with its great green leaves hanging low and across the street is the brick front of the Harvard Exit Theatre. Sitting, looking out the front one might forget they are in Seattle and drift to the streets of Paris. 
Since I flew solo to this one you only got my thoughts. Unless you want to hear that Megan said “…it’s all the pretty people who just dropped their kids off at Montessori. They are 30-somethings who are just too cool.”
Judgings:
Name: 0 Stars
Beer Selection: 3 Stars
Ambiance: 4 Stars
Crepes: 5 Stars
Next stop: Linda’s Tavern. No longer solo, I have for you input from a whole slew of people. In comparing Linda’s to Bill’s Off Broadway, Hopper Kirsten said, “She’s Bills more popular sister. She’s hot, she has black hair and many tattoos.” Very true. You walk into Linda’s at any hour of the night and the place is already packed. ”It’s an art to score a table,” says KV and it’s true. We kept trying to upgrade to something bigger and each time we did we got a new waitress who always had black hair and tattoos. Uniform? The lighting is more yellow, orange on the wood walls and booths and also falling on the stuffed heads of various animals. The people watching is a blast as just about every twenty-something in Capitol Hill stumbles in for a drink.
As our party grew we moved to the back deck (”Who knew they had a back deck?!” – Susie) we sat on our jackets and stared at the paint by numbers mural on the back wall. Rumor has it, in the summer, they show movies outside. The conversation got loud and embarrassing for some, we talked to and about other patrons and kept putting off our eventual departure. It’s just too damn fun at Linda’s. ”It’s home of lewd conversation and delicious brews. Always a crowd pleaser,” raved Hopper Susie.
As example of lewd conversation, here’s Hopper Duff’s nugget of knowledge:”You know what helps warm you up on a cold night? Vaginal intercourse.” Thanks for your wisdom, sir.
Visitor Cori ‘from Denver, baby!’ had nothing but good things to say, too. “The bartenders are really, really friendly and sarcastically funny.” Kelsey drew a picture of a hippo standing on a person and drew an arrow to the decapitated head, labeling it Linda’s. I have no idea what the hell that means. You can interpret that one.
Judgings:
Ambiance: 5 Stars (casually comfortable)
The Outside Business: 5 Stars
Servers: 4 Stars
Bartenders: 4 Stars
Beer Selection: 4 Stars
Bathroom: 2 Stars (well lit, had tp, too small)
The only thing that could pry the Hoppers from Linda’s was a text saying that fellow Hoppers were at Redwood. Like the wind we were out the door. Faster than you can say ‘hipster’ we were at the counter of Redwood. Standing at that bar one quickly realizes that this might be Capitol Hill’s best kept secret. There is a mural of a large grizzly in the center of the room, an old rifle sits above the bar and the lamps that hang low are made from antlers. A few arcade games sit in a back corner under the watchful eye of a huge stuffed moose head.
Hopper Jenny quickly reminded us to stay focused and ask for a specialty. The bartender, who clearly was having a busy night, made us bourbon and sweet tea. Now, I’ve never been a bourbon girl. Usually I avoid the stuff like conversations about sex with my mom. There was just something magical about that drink, though. The bourbon was strong but the sweetness of the tea helped balance it and make it slip right down with no problem. Take the slice of lemon they give you and squeeze that sucker dry to make it a little more special. Jenny is on a mission to find a good Dark and Stormy and found out that Redwood is “yet another bar incapable of concocting a Dark and Stormy. They tried but failed.” We saw a few mason jars going around and apparently they usually use those for some drinks. There were indeed pint glasses but the few Hoppers who went for beer ended up with, um, red Solo cups. Visiting Hopper Cori said, “Eh, red plastic cups make me feel like I’m at a frat party. The bathroom is gross. There’s a puddle of what looks like pee.” But apparently there’s something fascinatingin the corner of the bathroom. Didn’t see it but you should see for yourself.
Hoppers Sarah, Justin and Katy could not stop gushing about the place. Justin said,” A new fave! Love the scruffy guys in designer jeans. It does an Alaskan proud. Sweet tea and bourbon is awesome. Fries smell dandy and so are the guys. The Bartenders = so-so (not very enthusiastic).” Sarah felt like she was back in Iowa (and was ECSTATIC to see a Hawkeye’s banner). Visiting Hopper Sara (in from Philly) liked that it was not super crowded and had a good atmosphere.
So, sweet tea and bourbon is great. Watch out if they are running low on cups or, well, you’ll have flashbacks to those frat parties. Maybe avoid the unisex bathroom. Puddles? Yuck. Lastly, Redwood rocks, despite its flaws. ”It’s divy without the seedy people” (Katy). Gotta love that.
Judgings:
Ambiance: 5 Stars
Bartenders: 2 Stars
Drinks: 2.5 Stars
Decor: Amazing!
Bathroom: Sketchy
Thanks to everyone who came to Round 2. The Hill Hoppers were…Kirsten, Kelsey, Duff, Justin, Sarah, Jenny, Micah, Sara, Cori, Sonia, Katy, and Mindy. Next week there is no Barley, Hops and the Hill but we will all be at Office Nomads (1617 Boylston Ave) for the 6 month celebration open house on Friday night.
Stay tuned for Round 3.
